no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
