You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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