I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
