Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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