Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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