I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize