Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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