You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
