I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
