We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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