Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
