I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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