The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
