week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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