we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
