I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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