I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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