remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
as a side note pls kill me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
