Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
