And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
