Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
