You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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