If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
