thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
