theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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