Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
