Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
