Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I party with great urgency now.
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