I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
