I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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