like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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