Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
