At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He felt like a one man threesome
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
