Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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