can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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