No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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