so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
