So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i came on her dog
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
