I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
