My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
