So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
