I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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