I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
