Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
