I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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