Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
