So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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