Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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