i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
