I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
