Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
