do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
