I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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