just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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