just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
