Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
