She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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