Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize