Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dual....:-)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
