he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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