IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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