well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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