The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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