if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
