someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like a drive thru vagina
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
