He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
