so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
